Week in Review, 24 October 2016

Sorry not sorry for the irregular posts up in this joint, but life and work is out of control right now and it’s all I can do to crawl into bed each night without resorting to hard drugs or something (thank god for M&Ms and my Kindle app after crawling into my warm cozy bed in the evening, that’s all that keeps me from turning to heroin)  (just kidding)  (I feel like I needed to add that for our parents that might think I was for real for a minute) (anyway: STRESS)

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Random comments of the month:

Someone stole a sports bra from my locker at work. I swear this is a Real Thing that happened, several weeks ago; I have looked high and low and the last time I remember seeing it was in the locker in the ladies’ room, I contemplated taking it home (it was a Friday) but figured I’d just leave it for Monday.  Now it is no longer anywhere.  I keep hoping that somehow, due to my foggy state lately (SLEEP WUT IS DAT), I am totally wrong and it’s like, under the bed somewhere. But if not!  Just: gross!  I SWEAT BUCKETS IN THAT THING, DON’T BE BORROWING SOMEONE’S SPORTS BRA MAN.  I hope you don’t get a flesh-eating disease, yo!

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I felt the need to bake recently, so I made banana bread and a nice big tray of PB&J bars for Pete’s lunches. Like a whole pan of PB&J bars. THE RECIPE MAKES A HUGE PAN AND YOU USE LIKE TWO CUPS OF BUTTER.  I got all the stuff to make salted brown-butter rice krispie treats as well, but have held off from making those. We also got cider doughnuts at the pumpkin patch that we are STILL trying to finish off, and we have cake from Moose’s birthday, and I could not say “no” to a giant bag of M&Ms at Target the other day (nor could I say no to the pumpkin-spice-and-roasted-pepita caramel corn at the grocery store), soooo… We are kinda drowning in sugar right now and I’m not sure what I was thinking about most of these choices.

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We had family pictures taken a few weekends ago. First off, it sucked because I had chosen outfits but the boys didn’t fit stuff (one was too fat and one was too skinny; I’ll let you make your own guesses there) and they also didn’t want to wear anything I wanted them to wear, save for the kitty shirts (thank Jesus, the best part).  And Pete whined about how he wanted to wear his (p)leather jacket and Linus only allows elastic-waist pants.  The weather took a turn for the chilly that day, so it was in the low 50s by picture time. Pretty sure my choice of a lightweight sweater was a mistake. ANDPLUSALSO Scott and I have given up on life and therefore matching in any fashion, so long story short we were all a mess.

AND! My children between the two of them act like cracked out guinea pigs (is that a real thing?  If so, send me a video plz).  So before we headed out to meet the photographer, I sat the boys down and explained to them that they needed to be good, compliant little humans who listened to the nice lady who will be taking their picture.  And they looked at me with their sweet doe eyes, and they both nodded solemnly. My darling boys.  Then we got to the Arboretum and I shook hands with the nice lady and before our hands pulled away, those two weirdos morphed into crazy turkeys running all over the muddy, muddy grounds, slopping mud all over themselves.  WHYYYYYYYYYYYY.

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(On second thought, maybe it was all the sugar.)

(Also: our photographer still got some awesome shizz. ROCK STAR ALERT.)

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Subject change alert!  There is this person who I am regularly in meetings with at work, and whenever I look at her she is this super shocked face and at first I thought maybe I had zoned out and missed some seriously weird shizz going down. Except, we were never really talking about anything surprising or inordinary. I think that’s actually just her resting face, like instead of Resting Bitch Face she has Resting Concerned Face.

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I just try not to look at her anymore in meetings.

This donut shop opened up two blocks from our house.  It’s huge and is part of a regional chain (from back in the Plains, where it’s fairly popular). Its like the Midwest answer to Voodoo Donuts, which means: kitschy and funny, but not exactly exciting.  I mean they are cute, lots of cereal and punny donuts and all that, but they taste like any other grocery store variety (no offense). BUT YOU GUYS.  They opened almost 2 weeks ago and every day, there is a line out the door and around the building, if not down the block.  I drive past this place twice a day and want to die when I see the lines. YOU GUYS GO SOMEWHERE ELSE, THEY ARE NOT EVEN THAT DELICIOUS.  The worst part is that I have a t-shirt from this chain and it promises me donut discounts, but there is no way I’m waiting in line for 60-90 minutes for limited selections on donuts with like, Lucky Charms smooshed on top or decorated to look like Cookie Monster or whatever (time and selection as listed on their Facebook page, I’m not even making that up).

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I have total donut irritation about the entire situation.

So yeah ANYWAYYYYYYYY. I wanted to get an update up before the end of the month because Halloween is a bit of a favorite around here and we have like 4 parties planned already and I know I’ll have total photo diarrhea from that so I might as well break things up a bit, yeah?  So here’s some stuff.

First up: the Big Chicken Nugget turned Three.  I KNOW.  He took it like a champ.  Instead of the usual Rolling Pin cake we all get, Peter and I got him a Target DIY one and decorated it with all of Linus’ favorite treats.  The morning of he ran through the usual birthday streamers and then he tagged along on the birthday-breakfast donut run.  He was so excited for that donut run (to the GROCERY STORE, by the way, not the overpriced 90-minute line place).  They have kids carts made to look like firetrucks and the place was deserted at 7am, so I let him “drive” around the aisles making his firetruck siren noises for a good 10 minutes. Living the dream.

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He got all sorts of fun things, the most exciting being  A NEW HUGE FIRE TRUCK (thank you, Aunt Anne!) and he lives and breathes that thing these days.

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His love affair with butter will never die.

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We also took our annual trip to Waldvogels.  Just a little tip: don’t attempt a huge complicated corn maze without a map.  We spent most of our time in there getting majorly turned around and lost (as happens when you let the kids run willy-nilly through the thing for awhile).  The kids loved it but I have to say being map-less made my anxiety amp up to the extreme. How does one escape a massive corn maze if they can’t figure their way out, do you just run in some direction through the corn until you eventually exit, even though the owners will be pissed about you trampling it all down?  Do you scream for help?  Do you just sleep on the hard muddy floor like a badass and wait for help?  I dunno. Eventually Scott just took the lead and eventually we found the entrance again (works for me) and I was never so relieved to see my way out of a corn maze in my entire life.  So other than my personal corn maze mental trauma, we had a lot of fun.  Even though the bulk of our time there was spent trying to find our way out of the maze.

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On top of all the sugar overload, the cooler weather has given me the itch to prep for the winter.  I roasted all of the tomatoes from our last summertime CSA (sniff) and make a rich roasted tomato marinara to freeze.  I also made several batches of my “normal” marinara, batches of pizza dough, chicken stock, refried beans, roasted squash chunks, and taquitos/enchiladas.  Slowly stocking that deep freezer in the basement.  I still want to sock away some tomato soup and Scott’s fancy oven “gravy” before I call it good.

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On another note: we’ve been preparing for Halloween.  Oh, Halloween, the most favorite of holidays!  (At least for my kids.)  Actually: Linus has been all about the decorating and preparing, but hates the idea of dressing up.  I am hoping his opinion changes once he realizes he can’t collect candy unless he’s in costume.  Peter, meanwhile, is ready with two costumes.  A Pokemon thingie (Charmander?  Charizard?  Whatever) and a skeleton.  We did a test run on the makeup and he was super excited to sit still for ten minutes while I slapped that stuff on his face (believe me, I timed it).

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Also we played in the leaves.  TIME HONORED TRADITION YOU GUYS.  And we did a lot of fall outdoor clean up, like raking (duh) and One Last Mow and Scott worked on the car and we cleaned out the garage.

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It was also a month of deep-cleaning.  Winter is coming, you guys, something that is very clear to us Northern dwellers.  So I’ve scrubbed  every surface I can find, and this weekend we threw open the windows for probably the last time until May. I also cleaned those weird spaces you clean maybe once a year, like the fridge – you know how you do that deep cleaning where you pull out every last thing and line the items along all the counters, then you pull out all the shelves/drawers and dump them in a hot soapy sink of water, and you also wipe down all the interior walls and even go at the weird scrapey marks with a Magic Eraser?  I did all of that.  Oh, and while I did my lovely children played a game of “how much stuff can we sneak over and steal out of mom’s peripheral vision” and so I found them in the living room cheerfully surrounded by sticky jars of relishes and overfilled containers of leftovers and tried my best not to have a heart attack.

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BOYS.  Never have them.  They are thick as thieves and cause all sorts of trouble.  I swear I spend twice as much time trying to figure out what mischief they are up to and thwarting it, as I do getting anything done at home. And they usually do it all in their underpants (why won’t kids keep their clothes on? WHY?).

Their specialty this weekend was attacking dust in sunbeams (much screaming included, how charming), dragging every last toy out of the corners of the playroom, and refusing to ever wear clothes.  That’s in addition to making a complete and utter mess of every room I just deep-cleaned.

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I guess at least they get along. UGH BOYS.

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