Week in Review – 22 May 2016

Gah, just GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.  I know I didn’t update last week, but I was out for a conference in Denver andplusalso right before I left my society dropped 3 projects in my lap, and oh but I also have an Editor Conference at my home office this week, so stress levels are high to begin with and time is sadly short.


And then all kinds of terrible stuff has been happening too, like:

  • I hurt my knee at Spin Class I think? and had to cut down on my workouts (pretty much buh-bye cardio) and I swear I already feel like my clothes are tighter.  Thanks, Old Lady Metabolism.
  • However given that I still went to Spin Class a few times this week to try to ease back in but I regret both of them because it hurts worse and WHINEBITCHWINGE first world problems I know.
  • I went to get Linus a banana as a snack today and that Terrible Thing Happened To Us like you read about online but think is just an urban myth but oh no you guys.  I went to pull a banana off the bunch and it was kinda stuck (bad sign) and then when I finally got it off there was a GIANT HAIRY SPIDER NEST taking up 2 inches on one side, all smushed and full of dead spider bodies.  Holy shit I’m never buying bananas again.
  • Our household has been hit by a nasty chest cold this week.
  • When in Denver the guy who brought me my room service salad and IPA (after 10p, mind you, because I didn’t finish working until 9:15p, called in room service, and was told they were running 45 minutes behind…), the dude who delivered my room service proceeded to spend five minutes mansplaining to me what an IPA was.  So I smiled politely and nodded along to his drawn out bullshit while I docked his tip a few bucks.
  • I tried to make homemade Pop Tarts and that shit failed miserably, like overbaked tops and underbaked mushy bottoms.  So bad I didn’t even get photos but you don’t want to see the outcome anyway, trust.
  • Linus fell down and gave himself a buckle fracture and while I’m thankful that it’s just a minor break and there’s no cast, it’s still a major pain in the ass to try to keep a crazy toddler from using a splinted arm.  He keeps wrestling off the splint and using the arm.  I foresee a healing period on the longer end of the estimate given to us…


  • When I went grocery shopping I forgot at least one ingredient somehow from almost every recipe. Which is slightly annoying when it happens for one recipe BUT MINDBLOWINGLY RAGE-INDUCING when it happens to every last damned thing you planned.

Worst of all: Friday night I was, understandably, exhausted after a long week of travel and insane deadlines.  We all got home, and Pete had invited over the sweet neighbor kid without asking.  As we were putting dinner on the table, even.  So we asked the neighbor kid if he wanted to eat, but he was sweet and declined, so we fed the toddler (but felt too guilty to eat in front of a guest) and busied ourselves with other things.  I was in the middle of cleaning the bathroom when I heard a howl come from the basement.

And then the neighbor boy burst up the stairway from the basement, clutching his left hand, which was covered in blood.

Turns out, they were playing bowling in the basement, but being stupid boys they escalated it and were bowling different objects into the pins.  Peter chose my 4-lb hand weights and when he tossed them down the “alley” he made a direct hit with the neighbor boy’s hand.

Anyway.  I saw all the blood and immediately got clammy/woozy, and thank God for Scott – he swooped in and directed him to the sink, assessed the situation, cleaned him up, calmed the sobbing boy down, dressed his wound, and calmly instructed me to fetch the boy’s parents.  For my part, I was too busy yelling at Peter and wringing my hands in the hallway (I am nothing short of Completely Useless in these situations, and I am being totally honest even though it is beyond embarrassing).  So I ran down to get his parents, only to find out: his parents were taking their eldest to the airport in Milwaukee, and only his teenage sister was home.

It was a complete mess, Scott drove them to Urgent Care and stayed until family could get there, and it cast a shadow over the entire weekend.  I frantically called my mom, thank god for Muzzy, and she talked me off the ledge of insanity.  Pete still cries when I try to talk to him about it. It sucked so bad and that poor neighbor baby was so scared.  He ended up with 9 stitches and I say he’s lucky, because honestly: it looked worse than Just Stitches. His finger looked mangled. His parents were so thankful and kind about it and I am just, I dunno.  It still sucks and I really don’t want to talk about it anymore.  I am just so thankful it’s just stitches.  And this kid is just a darling sweet kid, and he is taking it in complete stride.  But I wish it had never happened, especially to him of all people.  😦

Ughhhhh, anyway.  I guess if I were to update you on non-sad-terrible things, I’d tell you:

  • Peter’s school had a fundraiser running thing called the Hot Dog Hustle (we had a hot-dog picnic after the kids finished).  He ran 23 laps total, not too shabby, and I got to have lunch surrounded by a charming group of boys.


  • I took some pictures with Baby Momo on my trip (Pete insisted I take him along) and I totally look 15 years younger in any photo including me.  God bless those low quality, out-of-focus photos that my phone takes.


  • Peter’s current (expensive) bike is too big and intimidating for him, and I found him a good workable smaller one for $3 at a rummage sale.
  • I also finally got a memory card for my old camera, and taught Pete how to use it.  He’s been using it nonstop, he has started making these meticulous stop-motion animation “videos” of his Lego creations.  It’s adorable and I want to die. In a good way. I will upload some when I get more time, promise.


  • The weather has been beautiful since I returned and we’ve been a’grilling and enjoying the outdoorsy time.


  • My older son, while making stupid decisions sometimes, is also my heart and my soul.  And he knows when to lead me to his secret hideaway in the lilac bushes, that moment when he sees his mommy is sad and stressed and he just is like, check this out mama, come on.


Okay fine life is terrible but also, you guys, it’s lovely and beautiful and it sucks but I’m happy for it all.  Even the yucky part where the darling neighbor boy gets 9 stitches because of us. Aw shit now I wanna cry again.

Anyway: peace out, have a good week.




    1. I have become a pro at wrapping up an arm sling. Walgreens sells colored bandage which certainly helps! Make a mental note my friend, you never know when you might need crimson/blue bandages 😉 (Hopefully never.)

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