Congratulations on your first year, my son. You are officially no longer a baby, but instead well on your way to manhood. So let me take this moment to share with you (to the best of my womanly ability), the Man Rules:
- Keep the safety on until you pull the trigger.
- At the ballpark, never start the wave. But never let it die, either.
- You can people watch, but don’t stare.
- Walk it off.
- Don’t linger in a doorway: it’s in or out. (Your father has yet to master this one.)
- Offer your date the seat with the better view in the restaurant.
- Never swing at the first pitch.
- Go barefoot. It toughens the feet.
- It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry. Live up to it.
- And the pleats on a cummerbund face up.
There now, you’re all set. Your father can cover the few things I overlooked. And if you need anything else, please know I’m here for ya.
PS: And you’re still my baby. Always.